“Mid Year Resolutions”

Happy almost-middle-of-the-f*cking-year everyone!

My gawd. What the hell happened. April is that weird month between cold and warm where no one really knows if they should wear a jacket or not? Like freezing when you walk out the house but 10 minutes in your sweaty and frustrated. Yay!

Anyways, this post comes after the ‘sunday scaries’ hit me. At work. Lmao I work Sundays so it just sucks. BUT, truly I got to thinking. I made a new commitment to myself. A mid year resolution if you will. I vow to stay away from actively checking the news. Like seeking out stories, listening to news podcasts or constantly refreshing Yahoo News for weird click-baity bullshit. Literally though, today was weird. On a Sunday morning, I read about Ukraine still blowing up, Portlands’ 473485348975th shooting this year already, someone’s car being stolen in my neighborhood (again), etc..the list goes on. ALL before noon like wtf.

Its one of those things that can really affect you. I feel like I exist in a constant state of low grade anxiousness and paranoia. Life, the world, people…all so unpredictable. No day is the same- in both good and bad ways. One day it’s amazing news like the Supreme Court Justice being a black woman or Portland having a 5 day sunny streak. The next day its a double homicide with a side of rain. I. CaNt. DeAl.

I have to constantly try to disassociate myself from the negative shit. ITS LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. Facebook, Insta, snapchat, TV, magazines, c a b l e, other people..even unsolicited when it pops up on my phone or computer when I don’t want it. It brings me down, seriously I get freaked out and wish I could wrap the people, places and animals I love in bubble wrap. I have to take a breath and focus in on the reality of where I am and what Im doing. Remaining present helps, but then I also spam text everyone I know and care about to make sure they’re fine so that I can continue my day.

Everyone leans on different things. I blog, I pray, I watch TV (have to be careful bc I like dramatic shows but that doesn’t always tie in well with avoiding negative shit), go to yoga, focus on work, FaceTime my people, walk my dog. All the things that make me happy. I, and by I, I mean WE as people cannot live in fear for we will stop living altogether if that happens. BUT we remain vigilant AND as present as we can. Be smart, be tough but don’t forget to enjoy. Enjoy the reasons we find life worth living like fr because that sh*t is important.

I speak a lot on inner peace. I believe that our inner peace allows us to be good people in this world of chaos. Well I can’t be a peaceful b*tch when the world seems to be falling apart??? SO if anyone reading this can relate in any way, I challenge you to join me in committing to no news for awhile. The news will always be there, both good and things will happen, and if the news is big enough then we’ll find out anyways BUT for now, focus on the good shit and exhale- or just don’t read- that bullshit.