Posted in Uncategorized, youth

…and just a pinch of chaos

1 cup boredom. 1/2 cup confusion. 1 tbsp of distraction. 3/4 stick of disaster. Anddddd just a pinch of chaos = Vanilla Frosting covered BULLSH*T.

Maybe I shouldn’t start every blog off so pessimistic because I really am an optimist BUT idk can’t help it?? Plus y’all know that would be boring lol.

So I’m here, at my desk, at my new job…spoiler alert I’m an MA at an urgent care (AGAIN). Same sh*t different day. But my thoughts today are LOUD. My gawd I swear today I can’t SHUTUP! My brain is talking to me too much and it’s driving me crazy. Here’s what I’m thinking: do y’all ever feel the grim sense that you’re wasting time? Like maybe instead I could be on a boat somewhere doing something cooler than giving an airhead their tetanus shot because they thought it would be cool to scale a fence barefoot.

Most days I feel grateful I have a plan of some kind. Like OK YES Im going to school to be an EMT, which may lead to PA school but for now this is fine. For now I need a steady income to get me there and Im ok with that. Then other days like today, Im like DAMN I will never get this day, this minute, or this SECOND back!? Its kinda weird and awkwardly disappointing. So HOW on Earth do I come to terms with my “maybe waste of time job when I wanna be on a boat somewhere else” problem? This is what I’ve come up with so far:

ITS ALL ABOUT THE FOUNDATIONS BABYYYYY! I know for a fact I do not wanna be working at the same job doing the same things day in and day out my whole life. If that works for you then fine! Everyone is different and as I have said before, we all have different circumstances. However, I do believe we can always work to change our circumstances if we want to do so badly enough. That being said, I think of my current circumstances as my foundational phase. I want to put in the work now so that when Im in my 30s and 40s, I can TRULY do what I want, where I want, when I want. Besides, there’s no shame in admitting I can’t live lavishly now LOL. By the time I can actually enjoy myself doing whatever it is, I’ll (ideally) have the actual means to do so without stressing between my dog getting the organic wet food this week or If I can get a full tank of gas this time.

I want to set myself up for success and the reason I started this blog was to highlight the bullish*t that IS the concept of our 20s and early 30s being aMaZiNg *eyeroll* While there are amazing moments, we are essentially building ourselves for tomorrow. Im 26 and know maybe 0.000123654723% of whats actually going on and how Im going to figure my life out. I am 100000000% in my Bob the Builder Era and it’ll be a while longer before I can reach my Trinity From the Matrix Era dodging bullets making it look easy.

The thing to remember is this: you cannot, SHOULD not, by any means kick yourself and bully yourself into feeling not worthy enough to earn the rewards of tomorrow. Work hard to get your sh*t together, find strength and keep pushing. Give yourself grace!! Obvi don’t be a lazy B & move forward knowing your grind of today will *hopefully* be smooth sailing when you’re a little older. I mean we work hard to literally play hard no???

So my challenge to you is this friends: the next time you feel bored as f*ck, like you’re wasting time or feeling useless, just think about how you are the dictator of you’re own circumstances and if your grind truly matters to you, then double down and push harder to make your future worth it- and if you hate your circumstances and your job or WHATEVER else…CHANGE THAT SH*T DAWG!

Nothing like some freshly baked food for thought and a hot cup of STFU.

Posted in Uncategorized

Rough Seas

Happy Monday? Ew no. I am not a Monday or a morning queen. How about happy-we-are-still-blogging-and-got-out-of-bed-day. MUCH BETTER.

As I type I am working through an ocean of emotion (rhyme scale 2 out of 10 at best). Its been an odd few weeks? Months maybe? I just remember the Oscars flying by and perhaps St Patricks day was in there but IDK. What happens when everything occurs to you all at once? How do you navigate the boat? The storm is here. Murky, rough waters, harsh winds, and the deep dark unknowns. I will be the first to publicly announce my great fear of exactly that: THE uNkNoWn…

It’s always been a real stupid struggle for me to grapple with what I don’t know. What I can’t control and what I can’t foresee always gets me DOWN. I wish I had a crystal ball but I know if I did, I would most likely drive myself even more insane. Im in this space where I don’t know if I should go left or right, up, down or sideways. Im relying on signs from the higher power and from the universe because while I am trying my best and making decisions that I think are right, they generally come back to bite me in the ASS.

For example, I got rejected from all PA programs last application cycle and now I am at a crossroads where I am deciding if I should apply again. At the same time I will be taking courses to become EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) Certified but with the unfortunate way the cookie crumbles, this EMT experience wouldn’t even be applicable for this next round of school applications BLA BLA BLA. Don’t worry if that shit doesn’t make any sense for you lol just know it sucks.

I also am being tested in my relationships in my life and being challenged to do the right thing with my head and my heart which if you know me, my heart likes to run WILD in the love jungle and she doesn’t always know how to turn it down or bring it in… a matter for my complicated mind to settle in private BUT my point is, life really is like that meme. The one that asks how am I supposed to balance school, love life, wellness, more school, eating food other than $0.39 ramen, walk the dog, watch reality tv, talk to people, get gas and stay alive ALL AT THE SAME TIME???

Its like I’m swimming but with ankle weights so like my top half is moving but my legs are just flailing and sinking!! I am trying everything to stay positive and look at the good too. I got to see SZA in concert (I wept), I still have hot water at home and although my dog got skunked and lost a toenail last weekend, she is still cute LMAO. SO thinking back to my New Years post and thinking about everything happening, my only solution is to keep f*cking going. If we sink, we’re toast. So imma just keep it real and keep moving, imma f*ck around and find out what the future holds because this shit is not my last stop and you can bet that those ankle weights are only gonna make me stronger when they come off!!!!!!!

Cheers Friends ❤

Maryjanelosthertoenailaftergettingsprayedbyaskunk.jpg

Posted in youth

Whats yours is mine

25 and 26 have been notably the most formative years yet. Nothing and everything is happening all at once. It’s constantly a hamster wheel of peaks and valleys but lately there has been many more valleys than peaks. I am bombarded with the disastrous excitement of my future, at the same time I am bombarded with shitty finances, car trouble out the ass, and lots of assholes who think the world bends to them. 

This takes me back to my very first blog post and the idea that inspired it all. According to society, instead of making my rent payment and fixing my car engine, I should be blissfully traveling the world not thinking about how much my tax return will give me. If you’re in a position to travel and do whatever you want in your 20s then amazing! Go for it! But for the rest of us having a three day weekend is almost as exciting as not having to cook for dinner or make our lunch for the next day at work.

I crave those things. I want to travel and know more peace financially emotionally and spiritually. I want a house, I want my dog to have a bigger backyard, I want to have time to meal prep everything in little glass containers.  Lately my theme has been this: I’m living in a constant state of reminding myself to accept where I’m at, and be utterly OK with it. Yes that means being OK with my car heater breaking, being OK with my 9 to 5 job, being ok with a Chicken McMuffin for dinner when the grocery funds fall short.

BUT what if I’m NOT cool with it? YES accepting is Key to peace. I preach that til the cows come home but ALSO where’s the instruction manual that tells you how to be ok NOT being ok?? Hello??? Its like I’m riding an unpredictable wave. Sometimes were up, sometimes were down. But always on shaky turf.

Im looking for a new job (YES again), Im considering reapplying to PA school (getting rejected 8 times was not ideal), and now Im gearing up to potentially apply to EMT school as well. WTF is happening honestly. Its like that f*cked up ideology about how we are supposed to balance a social life, romantic life, fitness, sleep, work/goals all at the same time. SO everything is happening at the same time nothing is happening: the job market is bad so I’m not getting many bites, its not time to apply anywhere for anything yet and Im just getting my ass up everyday praying for a miracle of some kind.

HOWEVER there is still a silver lining here.

  1. I have this lovely lil blog
  2. 2023 just started
  3. Coffee is real
  4. Popcorn is also real
  5. My dog has a new jacket

SO its not all bad. There a moments throughout my day that remind me to be grateful because although life might be overrated sometimes, we’re navigating this lil blue polluted planet together.

My friends and I went to a cheap comedy show recently, and let me say it was not that good LOL. Yet, at the same time it was awesome. Not only because I was with my good friends, but because I could look around the whole room and see this random group of strangers just smiling and laughing together at the ridiculousness playing out in front of them. They were laughing in a supportive way like “your jokes are bad but love you for entertaining us and trying.” In this disaster of a world, the togetherness gets me through it.

So….to finish I pose a challenge to my readers: Think about some togetherness that you’ve seen lately. Whether time with your family, getting CBD infused IPA with your friends, or sharing a smile with your mechanic because you both know you’re f*cked. Take a moment to sit in that “human-ness” and just know ✨were in this together✨ or whatever 🤪

“$200 for an oil change? You got me f*cked up😂”

Posted in lost, motivation, peace, storytelling, youth

SOS

I have never ever felt more “untethered,” lost, unbound, unwound or weirded out in my whole 26 year old mf’ing LIFE. But it’s ok! And I’ll explain lol. 

The ONLY tangible shit keeping me afloat is the fact that SZA is going on tour in March and I MIGHT BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT? IDK remains to be seen. ANYWAYS, people its time to post some thoughts as this INSANE and wild year of 2022 is finally at its close. 

A close friend of mine asked me, “how would you describe your year in a few words.” THAT is a F************cking QUESTION! Here’s what I said: complex, confusing, challenging and bittersweet. 

Not exactly a chipper description. However, its just honest. I had some killer good times and incredible highlights truly. Going places I’ll  never forget and living unforgettable moments. SO with that, let’s start with what we learned this year (‘we’ being me and my good friend anxiety). 

This year I learned more than anything: HUMILITY AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MORE HUMBLE. This statement is crucial to personal growth because sometimes you have a plan and then life says f*ck YOU i don’t think so! and then you’re slapped in the face with redirecting and reevaluating your life (as my wise old man would say). Having gone through MANY ups and downs, career changes and jobs this year on top of PA school rejections, has truly made me stop and smell the ✨new pathway to idk where✨In all seriousness, I learned the importance of: being okay with TAKING AN L (for those of you who don’t relate to this slang it simply means ‘being ok with taking a loss’ such as not achieving your dreams or something lol). ✌🏼

NEXT UP: HOW TO HUSTLE FOR MY GAWDDAMN MONEY. This one is near and dear to my heart (far from my wallet) because this is the big year that I not only came off moms tit (and her kush insurance plan) BUT was so in between jobs that I had to hustle and grind just to keep myself afloat in more ways than one. I worked to discover local resources, side hustles and budgeting tactics.  Delivery driving, donating plasma and working part time at a karaoke bar wasn’t glamorous but it kept my ass wiped and I had food on the table. THAT BEING SAID: this next year is all about struggling less. However, there is beauty in the struggle. I learned a lot about how to survive and take care of sh*t. 

FINALLY: I leaned into my strengths. I tried new things (hip hop dance specifically, I still royaly suck at cooking) and gained confidence. I worked to better myself and find out more about what I want and deserve. Quite honestly folks, sometimes just seeing some growth in yourself such as this is enough to feel proud of yourself. NEVER FORGET to recognize your growth and achievements no matter how small you think they are. We are always evolving and thus far i think that is literally the key to life.

SO NOW we get to the good shit👏🏽WTF are my resolutions or whatever???

In truth, I’m very proud as they are really realistic and tangible things. When making your resolution list (if you are someone who does this whether its written or mentally noted), MAKE 100% SURE they are things you can realistically accomplish. My blog was on my list for 2022 and check it out YOU are reading MY words! 🤪 

Here are 5 real items from my list that I chose after reflecting on my year: 

1 Get my EMT certification 

2 take a self defense class

3 start my Spanish classes 

4 learn to not lash out when struggling emotionally 

5 start new creative project

Now this isn’t my full list, some of the other sh*t is aligned with emotional & spiritual growth but here’s the thing. Taking hold of tangible goals and working to bring them to fruition will allow you to grow naturally. As we overcome obstacles and do things, we create space for learning and growth (as I discuss in previous posts), 2022 has confirmed this for me more than any other year of life. DO NOT GIVE UP. Yes, its corny but our goals, strengths, ideas, and gifts give us purpose for each year, each day and each moment. We are here and we are now. Our goals and resolutions, our tomorrow….it all matters, regardless of how f*cking dumb the world is acting (throwback moment to the Will Smith bitchslap making national news only to be followed by the Roe v Wade global DISASTER….you KNOW i could pull a million trillion other examples🙄).

In closing, I want to say THANK YOU💖 Thank you for my readers, my supporters and my listeners. Y’all give me hope and strength, you give me purpose to keep writing my heart out and I am forever grateful for this platform to be me, who I truly am. SO I challenge you my readers to raise your wine, sprite, non-alcoholic beer, kombucha or ice water to 2023. Maybe we make this year our b*tch because we could seriously use just a really f*cking good solid ass year.

Going into 2023 with dirty sock energy🤡

Posted in lost, motivation, peace, planning, youth

Nose dive…? Jump? Idk I can’t smell shit.

Allergy szn b*tchesssss!! In a dramatic turn of events, I am channeling my PA program rejections (4 out, 4 to go) into proactive energy working at at karaoke bar making significantly less money!!! Yay!!!! Who knew. Life has been this: applied for schools, left my BULLSH*T medical assistant job, was denied unemployment benefits, anddddd became a hostess ayeeeeee…

It’s been land of the lost, limbo narnia, unsure nation 2.0… BUT I do have a new addiction called “DoorDashing.” LOL. Literally it is saving my ass and paying my credit card minimums 10/10 recommend (Instacart can suck a d*ck). SO YEAH, here we are a month shy of me losing my parents insurance benefits for good and here I am sniffling as the leaves change, checking IDs and trying not to eat my weight in free chicken nuggets. It’s definitely spooky season bc I’m scared lol.

It’s been a trying time of accepting the present moment and trying my best to find peace WITHIN IT AHHH *practice what you preach.* So, ya know I’ve had time to process things that have happened while being 25 years young. I’ve been able to walk my dog longer, catch up on tv, read a lil (like a tiny teeny bit), see my friends, manicure my man’s eyebrows, wash my hair more often etc. The silver lining here is time. Time doesn’t pay the bills but it is priceless. This period of my life is the much needed slow down I’ve been desperate for.

Moving forward I feel this: my right now moments lead into my tomorrow moments and everything can change at any moment. Things haven’t necessarily gone my way for a higher purpose, like annoying, but I get it. I mean I’ve been given the gift of time and sleep which is more than I’ve been able to have in awhile. I’m learning how to value myself in ways I didn’t recognize before. So friends, I raise my hard kombucha today for the good sake of tomorrow and what it will bring. I challenge you all to do the same!

She forgot her Gucci flip flops but time is on her side 😤

Posted in #yoga, motivation, peace, planning, youth

Sink or Swim? 🫠

Are you a meticulous planner? Do you think wayyyy ahead and then freak out over things that haven’t happened yet? Or are you always present and just go with the flow?? Well guess what folks! You are in the right place and this is the blog post for you!! ALL FOR (almost) FREE!! ….just the small fee of continuing to read my word vomit is required 🙂

SO yes yes yes I have once again been inspired by my own chaos–woohoo! Its funny how most creatives get inspiration from their own bullshit lol I digress. BUT on todays episode of “Coffeeshopvibes AKA i dont know shit i just write what i feel” my question to you is this: Is it wise to plan ahead and consider the “what-ifs” or maybes of life? We do it because we’re literally human and usually we have to otherwise what tf to we have to look forward to?? (or is that just me lol).

Lately a lot has been happening. Good and not so good but mostly its aight. Haven’t heard back from PA schools yet, quit my shitty job and got a better one (at a karaoke bar LMAO thats on brand for me), and consistently contemplating the quantum physical f*cksh*t that is life. ANYWAYS, if there is one thing that is on my mind more than ramen noodles, its the impending unknown of the ~fUtUrE~… I plan everything. Well most things. Im a sticky note queen, in college I had like 3 planners and I utilize the reminders app on my phone + my google calendar like my life depends on it (which technically for me it does lol).

In some cases, this is a good thing! I stay busy, I consider myself organized and it helps bring structure to my life. BUT I am also a work in progress trying to unlearn certain behaviors that aren’t as healthy. For example, throughout my adult life it has been very challenging for me to be present. Going with the flow and taking things as they come is scary bc I like too know the future so I can control the outcome which is TOXIC energy that requires work to change.

Through therapy and supportive relationships, I have learned it can be dangerous to harp on whats coming. We naturally create expectations for things that have not occurred yet or perhaps may never happen, good or bad. We try to guarantee things will go our way by constantly talking about them, planning them, thinking about them and then when the time comes, we hope it’s everything we mapped out in our heads. When it’s not, we can become sad, depressed or just frustrated as hell. The truth is, this is happening a lot, within most of us no matter who you are.

As per usual my go to sanctuary has been my yoga practice (and new found love for hip-hop dancing ayooo), and today the intention set for class by the instructor was quite literally, exactly what I needed to hear and understand: “When we achieve and accept the present moment, we can find peace. The present moment might not be peaceful, but with acceptance we can find peace within it.”

This SHOOK me to my core in the best way, here I was mountain posing my way out of tiredness and anxiety when she dropped this wisdom bomb. The idea behind this message is the reality that all of us face. She was basically stating this: although we have so much BS around us and on us at all times, and although we are constantly thinking about our tomorrow or our lunch hour or whatever— if we take a moment to breathe in what we are experiencing at the present, we can accept and be ok where we are.

There is something to be said about present-ness and focus. In yoga, shavasana pose (the one where you just lay flat on the ground), is arguably one of the hardest poses there is. That is because you are challenged to be still and present. Challenged to drown out intrusive thinking by focusing on ones breathing. Its f*cking hard okay?? BUT it tests you, just like life does 24/7 365 billion days a year. AND its all practice, practice makes perfect.

SO my challenge to you AND to myself, is to practice being present. Practice going with the flow, focus on your own 2 feet and how you’re about to walk to the kitchen for a snack, then focus on the deliciousness of that snack and be in that moment, because that moment IS guaranteed. Plus, who doesn’t love a snack that is guaranteed to be delicious??

Presently enjoying my grape juice ✨
Posted in dance, motivation, youth

Yo DJ Play My Song

YOOOOO! Big news. Just arrived at manifestation station. Im moving!.. to a different part of town LOL.

I literally stood in the center of my 5×5 apartment and literally felt the ick. I was cringing and overwhelmed about how much sh*t I have. But thats when I realized, “oh wait, I dont have that much sh*t, my apartment is just suited for someone who doesnt dream of a walk in closet with a table and chairs.” TBH Its been a long time coming. Three years in a downtown metro, three years of bums at my door, no peephole and a peeping tom neighbor. Thats a long f*cking time to have no dishwasher and praying I make it back from the basement every time I wash my d e l i c a t e s for $1.75 in communo washer/dryer🤮.

I am the type of person who gets uncomfortable with something and then wants to change it instantaneously. A GO GETTER? if you will lmao. I cannot stand in one space for too long looking at the same thing or doing the same things whether it be mentally, emotionally or physically. Thats why Ive lived in many places and had so many jobs (well that and the fact my managers have been nothing short of bullsh*t). Its why I like medicine bc it can be LOCA but Im down for the ride. So even though Ive been at my place for about 3 (thousand) years, Im always on the hunt ready for my next “thing.”

I will say tho, Im proud of myself ya know? It takes a lot as a young, stupid, adult to MOVE. I mean over the years Ive had to learn what a change of address is and how your billing address is connected to your debit card and if you dont change that when you move then your bills get f*cked. OR OR OR how you need renters insurance and an electric company for power and wifi and *heavy breathing*

Im also working on finding a new…j o b…..LOLOLOL. Yes again.. I just. I cant..idk. Like finding a new job and place to enjoy before PA school (should I even get in 🤞🏼), seems crazy no? But then again, its literally MY journey. I will change anything and everything I want to for however long if it makes ME happy. We are truly the cReAtOrS oF oUr OwN dEsTiNy😂 but fr fr I want a better quality of life so, b*tch you had best believe Im gonna GO GET IT………. regardless of how broke I might be later.

Its entirely a leap of faith as most things are. But if we cant trust ourselves and take risks, then WTF are we even doing? So if you need a change and youre worried, anxious, scared, night sweats, ugly crying, hyperventilating then SIS take it from me: when you take charge and play your song, marching to the beat of your own drum… the risk is WORTH THE REWARD. I mean damn now I can save $2 on laundry.

Green Screens amiright
Posted in motivation, peace, youth

Don’t. Forget. To. Do. Things.

Messy, messy, messy. That’s been the overarching theme of these past few months. COVID cases rising, women’s rights plummeting, people shooting guns into oblivion, work-life balance teetering on the edge of destruction. Blah, blah, blah.

So much time for insanity & stress, so little time for peace and “self care.” In my recent post I shared my challenge of making myself NOT check the news everyday. It’s actually worked (besides the major stories that squeeze there way into my day). I am ever so slightly less on edge than I was before. BUT my ticket to bits and pieces of peaceful moments is not just coffee breaks and a zero-news policy—it’s actually what I call mindful wellness. And yeah, if life allows for this so called mindful wellness, then you take that shit and R U N with it. Here’s why.

Some of you are like “wtf is that I mean yeah I drink water and sleep sometimes and that’s what I call good health.” Others are like “yes sis I zen out all the time just child’s pose and chill.” WELL, mindful wellness to me is when somehow some way, I am able to create space to do something for myself that a) pushes my comfort boundaries like trying something new b) schedule an appointment for something that brings me physical relief or c) make time for ANYTHING that brings me joy (Nordstrom rack stroll, coffee shop trip, painting my toes or blasting J-Lo’s Jenny from the Block).

My real life example is something I’ve picked up recently. Once a week, I go to beginning/intermediate hip hop dance choreography and dance my heart out. I’m no professional by any means and the only other dance I’ve done is as a kid until I was like 6. But for some reason, this shit unlocks my soul and I feel so elated. I’ve always said that in my past life or if I were to be reincarnated, I would be a talented back up dancer to someone famous. This time and space that I create, this one hour of dancing and learning something new, brings me so much joy.

In a world that tries to steal ALL our joy- we must take it back. Take back that space and time. Find a way if you can. Plan ahead. Take a day, an hour, even 20 minutes to choose something (walking, dancing, reading, Pilates, yoga, that tv series that airs new episodes once a week, cooking etc). Anything that feels like soul food—EAT IT. It’s SO important to choose yourself in ways that make you feel happy, special, cared for.

Y’all we are more than our jobs, more than our relationships, more than our paychecks. We often forget that there’s more to our lives and sometimes we have to change our routine to account for something more than work, school, sleep, repeat or whatever it is that you usually do. So YEAH, mindful wellness is key fam. DON’T forget to do things👏🏼

Mindful Donuts
Posted in motivation

Mission Impossible

Someone real once said, “the days where you feel the most unmotivated are the days that matter the most.”

THAT is some hardcore sh*t. And I’ll tell you why.

The other day I felt so tired, lost, anxious, confused, annoyed, frustrated, hungry, tired, mad etc. In short, I felt unmotivated as hell. Sitting in my car literally thinking about how on Earth I’m supposed to do sh*t, know stuff and be somebody. I do what everyone tells you to do, “sit with your feelings you’re supposed to feel it” yeah well that was agony because my overthinking brain drove me insane for like 45 minutes while I bounced from do I have a future to what kind of burrito I feel like having. I felt unmotivated because I just didn’t feel a pull and I could care less in that moment.

By pull I mean passion, desire, want. Like what do I like? What do I wanna do? I wanna help people. Ok b*tch but how?? IDK. When you have a plan that was supposed to turn out a certain way or happen in the way you imagined but then..well..doesn’t…its a BAD FEELING, because then you’re like “oh sh*t now what.” I help ill people and have a sedan so I guess that’s a good start but my gawd.

When I feel like this (and lately it’s been often), I think back to what I wrote about in my past blogs: finding growth in the space we create for ourselves & putting one foot in front of the other. For example, my job and/or interactions I have with people, are the stimulus I encounter each day. The response to this stimuli is needing rest, food, other social interaction, emotions etc. The space I create for myself is inside my selfish moments (not always a bad thing). For example, my ultimate space creator is yoga, this blog, or time with my bf & dog. It could also be tv, organizing my home, eating the vegan pastry I bought or online shopping. In this space, I grow. My patience improves, my body heals, my mind chills tf out, I hydrate, I might learn something about myself and what I like.

This space I create then goes on to positively affect my stimuli, response, and ultimately how motivated I am to keep going. So, the days I feel the most unmotivated are the days I try to step away from all that sh*t weighing me down and I just try to create space. This is what’s important. Us as individuals in each individual moment. Our moment’s make us inherently better for ourselves and others.

SO YEAH. It’s true. The days where you feel the most unmotivated ARE in fact the days that matter the most. Take care of yourselves, because unmotivated you needs love too. No matter what, you’ll wake up tomorrow, but maybe it’ll be with more rest and level headedness. You might even wake up motivated to do something new like quit your sh*tty job or create a blog.

Lost in thot.