In between outgrowing what I knew and where I’m going.
Realizing that being at war with yourself is a fight that can’t be won.
Understanding that relationships deepen but get more complicated as we age.
28 is making peace with what I don’t know. Accepting that the price of my new self is my old self.
You can’t outgrow what you don’t let go of.
I’m not in the bittersweet wanderlust of my early to mid twenties, yet not quite made it to the fresh start of my thirties.
Praying the world gives us the grace to grow.
Some of us are drinkin, smokin, getting high. Some hanging on by a thread seeking light and strength wherever we can find it. Some buying houses, having babies, getting married. Others on a lonely adventure exploring life’s unpredictability.
28 is being stained by what we have uncovered about ourselves and the reality of our world… but continuing to soldier on. Doing it scared. Taking risks to keep moving because we either swim or die.
28 is having discovered what we don’t like.
It’s about knowing more about our morals and what we stand on more than ever before.
It’s having just a little more clarity about life than we did when we were 26.
We made it past the 27 club.
28 is great because the world takes us slightly more seriously. We’re not “babies” but we’re not old enough to have the answers.
28 is like being the oldest sibling. People look to you as if you’re gonna know what to do, and we fake it as if we do.
28 is my favorite year of life. Not because I have more wisdom inside me and certain failures behind me.
I love it because with this little bit of life I know, I actually believe in something. I have achieved enough, lived long enough and worked hard enough to finally believe in myself.
I wonder what 29 will bring.
xoxo,
T
“Are you a hot person feeling down and depressed?”
Why is the cost of love, loss? Why do we solider on and persevere even if it seems the odds are stacked against us? Why do we “fight the good fight” with so much to lose? It seems the ticket of admission for deep love and true connection is risk–risking everything within ourselves in the hopes love will never fail. Yet, we lose people, pets, things…so my question is why in the hell do we continue again and again when we KNOW beyond a reasonable doubt that we will suffer pain, loss, angst? Is it really true that “it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?” My answer is yes. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all .
The reason you’re alive on this Earth? At some point the two people who created you felt a sensation. Could have been lust, companionship, longing, or it could have been love. That’s the reason for my existence, the reason I have a name, it’s the reason I write this blog. To be human is to love and be loved. It starts wars and ends them. To be human is to experience every emotion under the sun and think the world may end at any moment, but continue to reheat our coffees and change the bed sheets as if we’ll live forever and nothing is wrong. But that is the insanely beautiful juxtaposition of life…just as love is with loss or change. We know *in theory* that nothing we can hold in our hands will last forever. But the crazy thing, is that love does last forever. It never fails, and it is our one true constant. You love your parents after they are long gone… you love your pets after they cross the rainbow bridge… you love after loss, and how grateful are we to have known that love? That love travels with you, and you spread it to others. To your friends, your other family, hopefully you spread it to yourself too.
So Okay—but does this explain why we as humans hold on to love even when it’s a risk? Even when it might not make sense to the outside world? It explains that pain is apart of the human experience as we are all too intimately familiar with. However, the thing about love is that it’s stubborn. Just as we are. We don’t give up easily because there is too much at stake. Matters of the heart will always bring hardship, but how interesting that on the other side there could be great change, joy, peace and happiness? When we have love, whether it be romantic, friendship, familial…it is always worth fighting for. That is because without it, without each other, this world becomes a different place. Other people are the greatest joy in life. We teach each other things, push each other to grow, experience the world together, support one another whether it be with math homework, cooking dinner, climbing Mt Everest or simply sharing thoughts over a phone call.
So although we may endure the sharpness of loss, we also become immersed in the pure joy that is loving others and being loved by others. There’s nothing else that can compare and it is apart of who we are as people. As long as we have love in this world, we also have hope. So friends, next time you cross paths with love itself…notice it, feel it, recognize it. Hold onto it. Life is both long and enduring, while also fragile and special. We live in a very hectic world where love is often last on the list of priorities. Yet without it, there would be no me, there would be no you.
My coffee tastes gross. Not enough creamer… too much water? Maybe this half-calf mushroom infused brew wasn’t the best idea, but I love the concept…so I’ll roll with it. Even though I’m not a huge fan, I love it. I love having coffee..even bad coffee. I love drinking bad coffee at work mid morning on a Thursday. I love it because of one reason: I can. I can have it. I can hate it. I have the opportunity to drink bad coffee on a Thursday at my wild job that pays me. That paycheck gives me my home, my food, my clothes. My home gives me space to exist imperfectly as I am.
We had a patient come into the clinic recently with quite an extraordinarily sad story. He had just recently lost his adult daughter to a sudden death and he lost his wife 18 months prior. I don’t tell you this to feel sorry, it is indeed horrific so empathy is natural. I am recalling this information for my blog because we as humans are often so caught up in the noise of our lives, we forget the reality of our human condition: we are human. Complex, ridiculous, silly, lovable, sometimes hate-able, ungrateful, wise, excitable, messy, beautiful people. One of the particular privileges of working in medicine is bearing witness to the human condition in a very vulnerable way. Most often, patients don’t want to be patients. So relinquishing control and allowing healthcare professionals to help is a special, intimate part of the medical world. When this intimacy unfolds, I often find one thing happens across the board– people just want to be heard and they just want to feel safe. So when I hear stories from folks similar to that of my patient, I am immediately humbled. It’s a challenge not to feel shameful or guilty for having anxieties, fears, or doubts about trivial aspects of life. A very large part of why I love my work in medicine is because I receive a daily invitation to remember my humility and the value of surrender.
Surrender has been a very large theme in my life as of late. I am learning quite a bit about being a sponge and absorbing the soapy crusty bits and pieces that life has to offer me. My patients are often in their 70s, 80s, 90s and even 100s!! I can’t help but pick their experienced brains and ask for advice. I often hear a lot of the same answers.
“Smile often. Just try to make the most of it.”
“Don’t ever take anything too serious!”
“You only get one life.”
“Eat chocolate. Drink wine. That’s how I made it to 105.”
“I’ll move until I can’t move anymore!”
“Don’t try to win ’em. There’s no point” (reference to arguing or picking battles)
“Just have fun.”
“We’re not perfect. Don’t try to be.”
Each encounter is a love letter. A gentle reminder that life is fluid, with a shit ton of ups and downs. When I hear stories that make me sad, it’s a harsh reminder that life is also short and fragile. It’s been an odd road–that of recognizing that all we’re guaranteed is the present moment. However, I am grateful. Grateful that I can recognize this. Grateful for the sweet sensation of surrender and the freedom that comes from not swimming upstream.
It’s not easy though. I’m still learning. There is also privilege in outwardly acknowledging surrender when something horrible isn’t happening, that is not lost on me. Especially in today’s climate where many of us are fighting for survival and surrender doesn’t even feel like an option.
When I think of surrender, I think of a complex river. There have been many times where I have been like a boulder in the middle, heavy and holding on for dear life. I feel like I just discovered a secret that somehow everyone else knew and I am just finding out. Like knowing to surrender and be present was a gift everyone received except me because I was absent that day. Practicing gratitude is a big part of what I try to practice on a daily basis, but I found out that it is a lot harder to receive if you can’t surrender and trust that things will be what they will be. It’s also important to note that there is wisdom in not trying to make something be what it simply isn’t.
So friends, my challenge to you is this. Find the good in your day today and take a small moment for gratitude—be grateful for your lame sandwich at lunch, the coffee that went cold, your mismatched socks, the ants in your kitchen, rain in the sky, the greeting from your pet, the book you are “almost finished with”… the list goes on. Human experience gives us good days and bad days. Both are real and exist, but it’s the bad days that remind us why the good days are good.
Change. Is it the jingly jangly shit in my pocket? Is it the random time between Winter and Spring? Or perhaps change is when I switch up my workout routine, get a 0.000001% raise or try a vegetarian diet for 3.25 months. I’ve written about change before and how accepting it has historically been challenging for me. That was a few years ago. Now, after I’ve undergone the most change I’ve experienced in life, here’s what I have to say: CHANGE CAN BE A CHOICE (if we choose it back).
Still with me? I’ll explain. It’s been some time since I have written a creative piece such as this. That’s because I spent the last *however many months* riding the f*cking tidal wave of life and my surfboard was a really sturdy toothpick. We all know this wave quite intimately, and when the wave crashes on the shore, the change hits. It can be incredible, amazing, “just-what-I-needed” redirecting change. Or perhaps it’s awful, life-altering, destructible change. Hell, it could be small but just as impactful as a fender bender or catching a bad flu that uses the only sick time you have left. Either way change is change but it is a choice and here’s why. We either change with it, or we don’t. When we choose to surf, we ~become~ the change (imagine the Smucker’s Goober PB and Jelly swirl spread). The change then becomes agreeable even when it’s awful because we adapt to it. When we embrace it or accept it (maybe after some time), the change becomes our new normal, our new life. Don’t get me wrong, in my experience, embracing change is the dumbest thing to be told. I hate hearing it. Even if I know logically that this annoying statement also doubles as a golden rule, (especially since we often wouldn’t know positive redirection if it slapped us in the face with a spatula) I still make a weird face when I hear it or see it.
These past 6-8 months have changed my perspective on change and how EmBrAcInG iT or whatever might actually benefit me?? That is because I knew change was coming (which didn’t feel like a choice), I refused to believe it or change with it for a little while, but when I realized that I was choosing to suffer, I took a step back and thought about it a little harder. After some emotional *adjusting* :’) I thought “hmm, maybe if I take it upon myself to move with the current, I might not drown.” Andddddddd that’s what I did. I began to shift my view of the world to what was within my realm of control: my thoughts, how I process my emotions and what I choose to do or not do (shoutout Mel Robbins Author of the Let Them Theory–groundbreaking book). Understanding what I could control HELPED me exponentially in understanding my choices when change arrives at my doorstep. I was able to relinquish control of the thoughts and fears that were holding me back. I wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t linear and it is still an ongoing journey, but it permanently altered my brain chemistry for the better.
Maybe all this makes sense, maybe it doesn’t. What I do know is this– change comes in all different shapes, sizes, colors, smells, vibes…and it’s going to happen whether we like it or not. It is then within OUR realm of power to release what we’re trying to control and move with the change, not against it. WAYYYY easier said than done, I know. BUT! Friends, my challenge to you is this: next time you are experiencing change of any kind–bear in mind what might help you so that you don’t keep getting in your own way. Recognize what you can change and what you can’t, don’t give your power away to a situation you have no power over and then take it back for yourself. THAT is how you surf. It’s not about being okay with all the change or the situation, it’s about self preservation so you can rise again, stronger than ever before.
xoxo,
Trin 💖
“Tell me to embrace change one more f*cking time I’m gonna lose my sh*t”
My mind. Our mind. His mind. Her mind. Their mind. The mind.
Thinking thoughts that ache, that scream, that run on a hamster wheel of endless space and time. The more I think the more I spin, like I’m on one of those spinny rides at the playground that people fly off of.
I look at the clouds and I imagine what it feels like to eat one. What it would feel like to float through one, what that cold air might feel like on my skin. While Kaytranada plays in my right ear bud (left one is broken), I take a deep breath and feel the heaviness in my eyes. The weight of the day, the week, the month, the last year, this life. I feel my ankles tight under my legs connected to my feet. Tired from running laps around myself waiting for something to give. Waiting for someone to slow me down and stop me in my tracks. Then it happens.
The wheel breaks. The clouds make way for sun. The beat of the song picks up. The aches pause and I’m still. Looking to my right I see the world and everyone I love, looking to my left is the mirror where I see everything in my way right in front of me. I can’t look away, when I turn to my right again everyone points at me. Points at the mirror and then I understand. I grab the mirror, give it a smile and break it. I throw it out of my way and I start running. Freedom rings out from somewhere close by. Everyone who points at me runs with me. We cheer, we laugh, we cry.
The world as we know it will only change when we change first. When we let people be who they are. When we let them do what they will do. People change when they can and when they want to. No sooner. Acceptance of self means absorbing peace and harmony within. The war ends when the acknowledgment begins. Today, tomorrow or the day afterwards, we are free to step into our power as we relinquish control of what is completely out of our hands.
The belief we are enough, the joy we can not only have but also bring, the love we seek.. it’s been here the whole time. Haven’t you heard?
As this year comes to a close, it’s that wonderful (annoying but necessary) time to reflect on this past year. To dive in and think about the delulu and beautiful moments that made this year another one to remember. The holidays are funny because they can also bring on emotions and feelings that are either really incredible or really f*cking awful. For some, this may be the best Christmas/Holiday season to date while for others it could be the worst possible time to celebrate family and togetherness. Then there is the middle ground, the happy holiday gray area that lingers like a cloud. In between all the holly, jolly, candy cane cheer and bahumbug energy, there’s us. People living lives and being people. The people are peopling. And we happened to people ourselves all the way to 2025.
This past year has been a roller coaster bringing the absolute best and worst out of me. I learned a great deal of stuff and embarked on many new journeys (physically, spiritually, emotionally). I forgot who I am, remembered, forgot again and now I’m acknowledging my truths and embracing who I am more than ever before. I went from being scared of my alone time to now feeling immense gratitude for it. My career path switched then switched again (*shocked gasp*), but this time I landed somewhere true to myself. The lessons from this year will stay with me the rest of my life, some might even say that this year has been the most important of my life thus far. For example, I learned that people who are meant to stay in your life will stay and those who aren’t will fade into the background. I learned that I like reading more than I previously thought and that I don’t have to dye my hair a different color to embrace change in my life. I have worked to prioritize myself, being the main character of my own story. I also learned that living in truth and following your heart is the only way to true joy. Trust is the true pillar of all things and without love in this world, we have nothing. One of the greatest takeaways of this year however, is learning the immense value in being present. Truly letting go of things that don’t serve us anymore, making room for what is. Connecting with our present moment and engaging with the people in our lives as who they are now…THAT is a mother*cking gift.
Life is a never ending cluster f*ck of growth, change, misery, love, joy, sadness, fun etc. It’s like the Airhead mystery flavor where you’re pretty sure it’s one thing but you never actually know what it is, you just eat it anyways. By the time we reach the holiday season, there’s an energy of “f*ckin hell we did it guys!” Believe it or not, we all live in this same winter wonderland disaster zone together so while Christmas and the holidays celebrates many things, I also like to think of it as a party we all throw to commemorate another year where we either thrived or just survived. This holiday season looks a little different for me as not all my family will be together this time and my heart is across the globe, but I have so much to be thankful for that any complaints are out of the question. So my friends, as you make your resolution list, give yourself a pat on the back and do yourself a favor, write “learn to make bolognese and play bridge” instead of “understand the limitations I place on myself by not processing my emotions,” because Lord knows that life will teach you lessons whether you write it down or not (period).
Have a merry, holly jolly, sugarplum fairy, joyful, chill, awesome, delicious, stress-free holiday szn everyone (Godspeed) and a very happy f*cking new year! This one is gonna be good, seriously I can feel it in my bones!!
First we have the bread. The resources, time, energy…the privilege to have the things we do. Then we have the lettuce, cheese, tomato (if you like tomatoes on your sandwiches), maybe avocado, THE MEAT (unless you’re a veggie person), and finally the condiments. All of which of course represent the people, relationships, good vibes and opportunities we have to be grateful for. THAT is a gratitude sandwich and BOY is it delicious.
My world has changed a bit over the last few months and I have had the understanding and clarity that I have been seeking for sometime now. I’ve been granted the gift of seeing and feeling. Not that I’ve been a numb potato for all my life, but meaning that in light of recent events, I can see past my own emotions and thoughts in a new and improved way to really see what’s been in front of me and what it truly feels like to be so grateful for what I have.
This world is f*cked up and we all know it, thats no secret. There’s 20 bad things to every 1 good thing, and sometimes (let’s be honest here) we tend to view the world through this lens because how on Earth do we not? Between the drama and facade of social media, the news outlets screaming at us with clickbait and insane headlines on top of the very real systemic issues our society faces among other pressing matters globally…being just a *person* and *existing* in this day and age can make us feel EXHAUSTED. So tired and sad. It can make us truly negative when we don’t want to be. Plus let us not forget, COVID was more than any of us could imagine. I was watching my fave TV show the other day (its a medical show lol NOT Grey’s Anatomy people calm down) and they did a COVID episode all about the shutdown and how the pandemic hit hospitals and medical staff. I literally started crying out of nowhere…like my body remembers the trauma before I can even recognize it! This moment just hit me because I realized that our environment and our world really reaches and touches us mind, heart, body and soul. We internalize things that have a lasting impact on our psyche and our attitude.
SO THAT is why I’ve been working on my mental diet by eating gratitude sandwiches everyday.
Each morning I wake up I make a point to be thankful. Grateful to God for the shoes on my feet and the car I drive. Each night I am working on making a habit of journaling three things I am thankful for OR (I got this from a podcast) I think about what went well in my day. Even if it was the smallest thing like having time to eat breakfast or a patient saying something nice to me. This is an active practice that works and it genuinely helps to shape my mindset, causing my mood to shift into a positive one.
There will never be a shortage of things to be pissed off about, that is a guarantee. Yet, there is also a myriad of things to be grateful for too. I keep seeing this quote that says, “When you pay attention to what you are grateful for, you attract more positive experiences, opportunities, and abundance into your life.” In a nutshell this is based on the Law of Attraction, which states that “like attracts like,” meaning your focus on gratitude sends out a positive signal that draws more positive things towards you. It’s simple math.
So friends, my challenge to you is this: try this idea of journaling a few things you are grateful for or perhaps think about what has gone well today. Remind yourself about what you already have and take that energy out into the world. The results may surprise you! Especially if you like sandwiches.
There’s nothing worse than when someone asks you what you wanna do with your life and you say “well I don’t know yet!” (JK there are so many worse things than this encounter but still it can be a very awkward experience). When you’re a few years shy of 30 and the niche of your dreams has yet to find you… it can feel.. well… heavy.
Heavy in the sense that your mind is constantly asking you what everyone else seems to be thinking. “How will she make money? How will she have structure? Will she be able to provide for her future kids?” Of course, the reality is that no person on this planet is more concerned about our own well beings more than *drum roll please* …..ourselves. No one pays attention that much and if they do, they’re weird. Simple.
So yes, when people ask what the hell I’m doing with my life, I’m honest. “I don’t quite know yet!” and I answer truthfully because as soon as they leave my presence or the room we’re in or whatever….I know they’ll go right back to being oh-so concerned about their own bullsh*t. So me and my bullsh*t can go back to what we were doing (which was figuring out what we’re gonna do with OUR life lol).
I have realized that once I am true to myself (i.e being honest with strangers, not lying about my goals and being real with my friends and family) that is when it becomes easier to be honest with myself in general. It is less awkward to have these moments of telling someone what my plans are (the plans are that I have no plans hahahahaha jk jk). If you haven’t caught on yet, I work in healthcare as a medical assistant in a surgical department. THIS is not my life’s dream (see every other blog post Ive ever written) and coming to terms with my relationship with the healthcare industry and my role in it moving forward has been like a complicated “what are we” conversation for the last 2 years.
But lately, Ive been honest. Honest about my writing dreams, my ideas and goals, creative passions…I’ve been real with myself and it’s been an interesting journey but being real has allowed me freedoms in my mind that I have never experienced before. This has given me the strength and bravery to take on new projects and put myself out there in new ways. AND AND AND it has made me more fearless when it comes to answering my favorite f*cking question of all time : sO WhAt ArE yOuR PlAnS fOr ThE fUTuRe??
I had the chance to put this into practice the other day when I had a patient ask me that very question. Most people expect me to say that I’m in nursing school, going to PA school or interested in being a doctor or something. So usually people are a little surprised when I say “actually, I love to write and I am planning on taking time to explore other options. I enjoy helping people so perhaps philanthropy, journalism or even owning my own business someday!” Needless to say, she didn’t have much to say because traditionally, going that route with my type of background and a degree in biology is CRAZY TALK. But you know what? I think committing to a path that you know isn’t for you is even CRAZIER.
Everyone has choices to make. Some because they have to, others because they see no other way. Maybe it’s because of family, or finances or or or or or. The list goes on. But this is the one life we get and it’s up to us and NO ONE ELSE WHATSOEVER to live it to the fullest and push for the life that will bring us the most fulfillment and joy by any means necessary. And yes, that includes scaring older ladies with the shocking choice to write blogs like this one 😘
So friends, my challenge to you is this: ask yourself what you need to be honest about. Be truthful to you FOR you. It may surprise you how much space becomes available to you–the space to explore something new or finally begin working towards that thing you never thought was worth it to begin with. After all, it is true what they say, that nothing worth while comes easy!!! But then again, who doesn’t love a good challenge 😉
Have you ever been somewhere….alone? (Like also with your dog and lots of people around?). Well I have.
For the first time I went on a solo trip. Just me, my bestie MJ and the Oregon coast.
I’m currently in a new season of life where I spend a great deal of time alone learning about myself. In this most recent episode, I took it upon myself to pack up the car and take my pup on an adventure for just us. It was eye opening. I didn’t realize how much I talk to myself, like holy sh*t. I really talk my own ear off BUT it’s all in the name of cultivating a greater sense of self. I rented a small beachfront room through Airbnb and had the opportunity to read, write, eat, watch TV and rest. It was actually a much better experience than I thought it would be.
There have been significant changes in my life lately and it took quite a bit of strength to push myself to take the 3 hour drive out to the coast. A part of me wanted to stay wrapped up in the Trader Joes Apple scented candle comfort of my one bedroom apartment, but I knew deep down that taking the time to invest in myself through a new experience, would be significantly more beneficial. One thing I found interesting while away, was how fascinating it can be to sit with your thoughts when you don’t have anything to really do or stress about. My mind went from “Wow it’s like so warm and foggy at the same time. That’s weird.” to “Sh*t, I’m really learning how to be alone and navigate my emotions.” Sometimes I’d find myself hyper fixated on the seagulls on the sand and how much my dog wished more than anything she could eat one. Other times it would be more along the lines of how my attachment style has affected the relationships in my life. I was having an endless conversation with me, myself and I.
I appreciated the chance to engage with the thoughts I had when I wasn’t worried about work, laundry, or waking up early the next day. There really is a big difference between being at home with your to-do list versus on a beautiful beach—where your to-do list is simply to ‘just be’. My favorite part of the trip was exploring a new place on my own terms. I could wake up and take my time, get my coffee, cuddle my dog and give all the energy I had— to myself. My least favorite part of the trip was confronting moments when I genuinely felt alone. This was a new feeling for me and it was kinda rough, kinda how the ocean can be, rough but beautiful too.
My biggest takeaway from this trip was that I now know I can really do something like this and be *chill*
By *chill* I mean calm, stable, okay, and just fine. I can travel solo and navigate a myriad of changes in life and come through to the other side. Sure, I might cry a few (hundred) times, but at the end of the day I can pick myself up and recognize my own strength. I don’t need someone else to remind me of my capabilities because I have proven to myself I am already capable of being independent, creative, talented etc. Hell, I didn’t know I would make a new best friend on this trip and I sure as hell didn’t know it would be me lol.
So, allllllllllll that being said I would 10/10 recommend a solo-dolo trip into whatever random environment or wilderness makes you happy or wherever you feel solitude and contentment might find you. For me, I decided on a beautiful quaint beach town with a single sensor activated street lamp and an espresso drive through. In any case, I am grateful for the time I had to focus on just “being” rather than “doing.” I encourage you to try it too. Who knows you might come to love talking to yourself just as much as I do ❤
XOXO,
Trin
P.S.
Some tips I found would have been helpful:
-Bring some late night snacks or candy for when you stay up late alone and don’t want to brave the one overpriced market at 1130pm with your pepper spray in one hand and dog leash in the other.
-Don’t bring projects to work on unless you commit. Might get side tracked and watch the new Netflix thriller series instead.
-Pack your face wash the night before you leave so you don’t have to use the Airbnb bar soap as cleanser at midnight once you realize you forgot the essentials.
-Give yourself permission to buy the overpriced hoodie at the local surf shop to commemorate such an important time.
“MOM LOOK DID YOU SEE THAT. IT WAS A BIG SQUIRREL I SWEAR”
Look up. Maybe you’ll see the clouds drifting quickly between the concrete skyscrapers. Look down and you’ll probably see the thousands of feet walking right next to yours as you scramble to make the street crossing before the countdown hits zero. The city is unlike anywhere else, you can be everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.
My favorite thing about the city is how small I feel. So insignificant yet so grounded, like no matter how windy it is or how many people walk by, I won’t float away because she’s got me. The city. So grandiose, always showing off and always bragging with her loud voice. The millions of cars honking, some with drivers and to my surprise, some without. The huge double decker busses rumbling down the one ways, overflowing with people from all corners of the world. I can hear the live music from the café on the corner, playing unapologetically while patrons are chit chatting about their plan for the day as they order their eggs and benedict.
I can feel the big ideas and limitless possibilities bounce between people as I walk down the sidewalk. We’re shoulder to shoulder, but it’s allowed. There’s an unspoken understanding between city folk, almost like a grand family gathering where we’re all excited to be there so we accept the fact that we’ll be close to one another. I can feel the heat too, coming from the kitchen of the sushi restaurant as I walk by the open door. Or perhaps it’s coming from the steam that’s pouring out of the manhole I just tripped over. Either way, she’s alive. The city is alive and moving, breathing loudly for all to hear.
There’s something new to see with every glance, like my brain is capturing a picture each time I blink or look in a new direction. Over there I see an older woman carrying all her bags as she boards the downtown bus. Turning the opposite way I see two men chatting over afternoon coffee, they seem to be strangers but find commonality in their endeavor to find caffeine. Behind me are tall trees trying to compete with the urban jungle around them but it’s nice to have some green in the mix to break up the concrete. Observing the city makes me feel alive, it’s like being part of a living organism that needs each part of itself to thrive. The city makes me feel valued.
For many, the city is too much, too busy or too overwhelming. I understand this, as there is often a darker side to our favorite things. People can lose themselves in a sea of people and feel alone or invisible. The city can swallow you whole if you don’t learn how she operates. You might find yourself deafened by how loud it is all the time, or beaten down by everyone else’s heavy footsteps as they march in the same patterns day in and day out.
Yet, I find magic in this place. The buzz of people as they create their path forward. I think the city is the best place to do it because although your cup might be too full, it will never be empty here. There will always be a place at the table– the chaotic, beautiful, diverse, smelly, happy, full table. So, if you haven’t had the opportunity to breathe in the smoke or the smog of a glorious city metro, this is my challenge to you friends. Next time the chance comes around, explore your city, or any city for that matter. Take note of the bookshops, cafes, cocktail bars, mom n’ pop shops, museums and music. The energy of it all may surprise you and who knows, you might actually like it.
CoffeeShopVibes 