1 cup boredom. 1/2 cup confusion. 1 tbsp of distraction. 3/4 stick of disaster. Anddddd just a pinch of chaos = Vanilla Frosting covered BULLSH*T.
Maybe I shouldn’t start every blog off so pessimistic because I really am an optimist BUT idk can’t help it?? Plus y’all know that would be boring lol.
So I’m here, at my desk, at my new job…spoiler alert I’m an MA at an urgent care (AGAIN). Same sh*t different day. But my thoughts today are LOUD. My gawd I swear today I can’t SHUTUP! My brain is talking to me too much and it’s driving me crazy. Here’s what I’m thinking: do y’all ever feel the grim sense that you’re wasting time? Like maybe instead I could be on a boat somewhere doing something cooler than giving an airhead their tetanus shot because they thought it would be cool to scale a fence barefoot.
Most days I feel grateful I have a plan of some kind. Like OK YES Im going to school to be an EMT, which may lead to PA school but for now this is fine. For now I need a steady income to get me there and Im ok with that. Then other days like today, Im like DAMN I will never get this day, this minute, or this SECOND back!? Its kinda weird and awkwardly disappointing. So HOW on Earth do I come to terms with my “maybe waste of time job when I wanna be on a boat somewhere else” problem? This is what I’ve come up with so far:
ITS ALL ABOUT THE FOUNDATIONS BABYYYYY! I know for a fact I do not wanna be working at the same job doing the same things day in and day out my whole life. If that works for you then fine! Everyone is different and as I have said before, we all have different circumstances. However, I do believe we can always work to change our circumstances if we want to do so badly enough. That being said, I think of my current circumstances as my foundational phase. I want to put in the work now so that when Im in my 30s and 40s, I can TRULY do what I want, where I want, when I want. Besides, there’s no shame in admitting I can’t live lavishly now LOL. By the time I can actually enjoy myself doing whatever it is, I’ll (ideally) have the actual means to do so without stressing between my dog getting the organic wet food this week or If I can get a full tank of gas this time.
I want to set myself up for success and the reason I started this blog was to highlight the bullish*t that IS the concept of our 20s and early 30s being aMaZiNg *eyeroll* While there are amazing moments, we are essentially building ourselves for tomorrow. Im 26 and know maybe 0.000123654723% of whats actually going on and how Im going to figure my life out. I am 100000000% in my Bob the Builder Era and it’ll be a while longer before I can reach my Trinity From the Matrix Era dodging bullets making it look easy.
The thing to remember is this: you cannot, SHOULD not, by any means kick yourself and bully yourself into feeling not worthy enough to earn the rewards of tomorrow. Work hard to get your sh*t together, find strength and keep pushing. Give yourself grace!! Obvi don’t be a lazy B & move forward knowing your grind of today will *hopefully* be smooth sailing when you’re a little older. I mean we work hard to literally play hard no???
So my challenge to you is this friends: the next time you feel bored as f*ck, like you’re wasting time or feeling useless, just think about how you are the dictator of you’re own circumstances and if your grind truly matters to you, then double down and push harder to make your future worth it- and if you hate your circumstances and your job or WHATEVER else…CHANGE THAT SH*T DAWG!
Nothing like some freshly baked food for thought and a hot cup of STFU.
CoffeeShopVibes 