Posted in peace, Uncategorized

City eScape

Look up. Maybe you’ll see the clouds drifting quickly between the concrete skyscrapers. Look down and you’ll probably see the thousands of feet walking right next to yours as you scramble to make the street crossing before the countdown hits zero. The city is unlike anywhere else, you can be everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.

My favorite thing about the city is how small I feel. So insignificant yet so grounded, like no matter how windy it is or how many people walk by, I won’t float away because she’s got me. The city. So grandiose, always showing off and always bragging with her loud voice. The millions of cars honking, some with drivers and to my surprise, some without. The huge double decker busses rumbling down the one ways, overflowing with people from all corners of the world. I can hear the live music from the café on the corner, playing unapologetically while patrons are chit chatting about their plan for the day as they order their eggs and benedict.

I can feel the big ideas and limitless possibilities bounce between people as I walk down the sidewalk. We’re shoulder to shoulder, but it’s allowed. There’s an unspoken understanding between city folk, almost like a grand family gathering where we’re all excited to be there so we accept the fact that we’ll be close to one another. I can feel the heat too, coming from the kitchen of the sushi restaurant as I walk by the open door. Or perhaps it’s coming from the steam that’s pouring out of the manhole I just tripped over. Either way, she’s alive. The city is alive and moving, breathing loudly for all to hear.

There’s something new to see with every glance, like my brain is capturing a picture each time I blink or look in a new direction. Over there I see an older woman carrying all her bags as she boards the downtown bus. Turning the opposite way I see two men chatting over afternoon coffee, they seem to be strangers but find commonality in their endeavor to find caffeine. Behind me are tall trees trying to compete with the urban jungle around them but it’s nice to have some green in the mix to break up the concrete. Observing the city makes me feel alive, it’s like being part of a living organism that needs each part of itself to thrive. The city makes me feel valued.

For many, the city is too much, too busy or too overwhelming. I understand this, as there is often a darker side to our favorite things. People can lose themselves in a sea of people and feel alone or invisible. The city can swallow you whole if you don’t learn how she operates. You might find yourself deafened by how loud it is all the time, or beaten down by everyone else’s heavy footsteps as they march in the same patterns day in and day out.

Yet, I find magic in this place. The buzz of people as they create their path forward. I think the city is the best place to do it because although your cup might be too full, it will never be empty here. There will always be a place at the table– the chaotic, beautiful, diverse, smelly, happy, full table. So, if you haven’t had the opportunity to breathe in the smoke or the smog of a glorious city metro, this is my challenge to you friends. Next time the chance comes around, explore your city, or any city for that matter. Take note of the bookshops, cafes, cocktail bars, mom n’ pop shops, museums and music. The energy of it all may surprise you and who knows, you might actually like it.

“I think I can see my dreams up there”

Posted in peace

Coffee Explained.

The first sip. When it’s too hot so you take a scared sip, or when it’s too cold and you’re sad it’s not hot enough. Unless you’re an iced coffee person—you hope the ice doesn’t water it down too much. This first sip is like adding oil to gears. 

Perhaps it’s merely a beverage or perhaps it’s a curated culture, maybe an aesthetic lifestyle. It can be the certified “beginning” of many things, whether it be our day or perhaps a friendship. We can craft it at home or we can enjoy it out. There’s so many different tangible choices for coffee and it takes on a multitude of different sizes and shapes all over the world. Venti, large, trenta, demitasse (French for espresso), grande, small, tall, short etc.. not to mention the plethora of styles, tastes and names it takes on to curate different feelings and emotions for whomever consumes it. 

But in the end it’s all the same. I asked my patient today if he is a coffee person. He explained to me that for him coffee is like a warm hug from an old friend and more so a comfort or a companion. This is opposed to a necessity or requirement for the day ahead, which is what most of us think of when we picture an 8 oz dark roast at 7am.

When my patient painted me this picture, I suddenly felt myself smile automatically in agreement, like my body immediately understood what he meant. It’s because I, too, see coffee as a friend. We make it, sip it, take pictures of it, hold it, love it and hang out with it everyday. Quite similar to that of a good friend (minus the sipping part). 

When I take a sip of hot coffee, it’s not really a big “Oh thank God I finally have my coffee to wake me up and make me functional today” type of feeling. It’s more of a “I’m so glad I have hot coffee to lean on this morning as I wake up.” Taking moments to sip my coffee is also seemingly an excusable break from things. When I take a few seconds to sip my regular drip coffee with cream and simple syrup, everyone understands, like an unspoken language between people. It seems to announce this simple truth: that I require a millisecond to myself for a breath and a sip of my comfort coffee to make the next few seconds (and the rest of my day) better than the last. Everyone catches on and no one complains. 

This dance is a part of our coffee culture. It’s a common ground where the world can be on the same page. We all get something special from it and it doesn’t take anything from us (except our money), so we love it. In my opinion, it’s the most understood concept of modern society. More understood than politics, economics, or the environment and even love. The idea of sipping coffee at a cafe or on the couch has the same meaning for everyone. Comfort and peace. Even if only for a moment.

The next time you order that complex coffee drink or use your French press at home for the 107th time, stop and give it an extra thought– is this a quick caffeine fix?  A warm comfort disguised as one? Perhaps the fantastic bold, rich blend of both.

“Hello, I’d like a 12oz drip with room for half n half and happiness. Thanks.”

Posted in Uncategorized, youth

Not Boring.

My coffee is lukewarm and my hands are cramping. I feel a sense of excitement but also fatigue as I think about this. My writing. 

My journey has been interesting as I have found myself to be consistently inconsistent in my work, my relationships and my endeavors. Maybe that makes me rich, but perhaps it makes me poor. I began in the traditional sense being told that after highschool, college is my only option to secure everything I want in life. I don’t blame my parents, they were only trying to do their best just like the rest of us.

I moved to Portland at 18 by myself and chose biology as my field to study. I only chose this because of Mr Boyd, my high school physiology 101 teacher. I remember that he made it fun, that he showed us how biology on a cellular level and what made humans work could actually be so fascinating. His class was my favorite.

So with my science major I accepted the terms and conditions of collegiate pain and suffering that came with a STEM field of study. In some ways it was badass, honorable and daring. In other ways it was idiotic, rageful and painstakingly challenging. Nonetheless, it was mine and after 4.5 years I graduated with an Honors College biology degree and a minor in community health (whatever that means). 

The only reasonable thing to do with this degree was move into the healthcare space, so again I did what I was told and began working in the medical field as a means to pursue Physician Assistant school. I worked, took the bus everywhere, worked some more, lived paycheck to paycheck and throughout Covid and life’s many ups and downs I stayed in hot pursuit of this goal. Prerequisites were required for applications so time and money was spent to complete these at home during lockdown. Experience (beyond what was reasonable) for these programs was also a must-have so I pushed myself beyond limitations within me that I didn’t even know existed. 

Since I graduated with my degree in 2019, I have worked in 8 different clinics not including a stint at a karaoke bar, which would bring this list to a total of 9 different jobs. What does this tell me? Many things. 

The first thing it tells me is that I get bored. Bored of the same duties, bored of disrespect, bored of mismanagement, bored of bullshit. It also tells me that I do not settle. I refuse to work in a space that doesn’t want me to evolve and be better. I also know that no matter where you work, there is always an element of organizational hierarchy whether it be appropriate or inappropriate. The lessons I have learned from all these dynamic spaces could fill a swimming pool. 

The most important takeaway though, is that I am learning exactly what I do not want anymore. The relationship I have with myself is growing everyday as I disengage from what I thought was “for me” but is now peeling away like a snake shedding its skin. This is a powerful and necessary change. Almost as if this series of events was so perfectly planned to lead me into my current mindset. I went to college for a specific reason, which was to get a degree so that I could land a secure job. That simply didn’t happen. Instead, I went to college, got my degree, learned invaluable social skills with which I entered the workforce to find that I hate the workforce. Now, based on my own personal lived experiences, I have a tangible understanding for what I do not want. I do not want to be enslaved to other people’s agendas and live at the mercy of someone else’s bottom dollar. 

My ultimate goal is to live in my creative freedom. I mean, look at how much I’ve got to write about. This is merely scratching the surface as they say. This is not even the tip of the iceberg, this is a small snowflake at the tip of the iceberg. All this is to say that I am not defined by what I have done nor by my accomplishments. In a podcast I recently tuned into, the host discussed that it’s not about who has the most money who wins, but rather who has the most experiences. That is where I intend to go, what I intend to do and who I intend to be– experience rich. 

Using what I know to launch forward is part one. My past is simply that. 

I didn’t get into PA school. In fact, I didn’t even get waitlisted. I failed out before I even started and it was the best thing that could have happened. I want to write, read, learn, and evolve. Still, my yearning is to help and be of service to others as I believe that is my God given gift. Reimagining the ways in which I can pursue this is my new driving force. It has always been within me to write. Ever since I can remember I have wanted to take a writing class and explore this. It is why I started my blog, a means of creative freedom to lean into who I am as a writer and create relatable content for my peers. 

So, as I sit at my desk here at the hospital and dream up my soon-to-be new reality, I am overcome with curiosity. Why did it take so long for the wool to be removed from my eyes? Why so many steps, highs, lows, mistakes, and doubts? Nothing valuable comes easily. Nothing worth waiting for arrives quickly. No one interesting ever has a streamlined, boring life. That’s just not what they write about.

Posted in peace, storytelling, youth

Everything Bagel

 I want to be like an everything bagel. 

I want to be a little bit of everything and I want to do a little bit of everything kind of like an everything bagel. 

Everything bagels are just right. They’re salty, doughy, have just the right amount of herb and are absolutely perfect toasted with some cream cheese.

I often get to a point towards the end of my day, where I wish I had more energy and more time to just do that little bit extra that I promised myself. Whether it’s go to my dance class, yoga, write a blog post, get that drink with a friend, or make myself actual dinner?? For some It might be that extra few minutes playing with their kid or taking the dog for a longer walk than just around the corner to “go potty baby!”

It’s the guilt for me. I feel like on some days I’m super woman and can wake up at 5 AM to go to the gym and work all day before cooking an incredible meal and prepping everything for the next day. but then that’s it lol. The Rest of the week I drag my ass out of bed to go to work so I can afford that mediocre gym membership and then by the time I get home I just want to sit on my ass!

So how does one become an everything bagel? In other words, how do I do everything I intend to do? This can be tricky because on one hand, you don’t want to break commitments or promises that you make to yourself. Would you break a promise to a good friend? No. Having goals and committing to them are an essential part of self-care. Letting yourself down is just as bad if not worse than letting down someone you care about. But on the other hand, listening to your body is of the utmost importance. Communicating with yourself in regards to what you need in those moments is also an essential part of self-care. 

For example, today I told myself I would go to my cardio dance class which I love (and pay for). I signed up and had a spot reserved, but work was insanely busy today as we were short staffed and I was on my feet nonstop. Towards the end of my shift, I felt torn between making myself go to a work out that I wanted to experience versus going home to rest for a second day in a row. I decided to go home and I was in fact, bummed out. But the moment I got home, I collapsed on the couch with my dog and was so glad I made that choice because now my body can get the rest it needs to have a good workday tomorrow (being tired at work is the worst thing ever and it makes me so mad). 

It’s also important to remember that everything doesn’t have to occur all at once. Things can be rearranged, schedules can be shifted, and nothing has to be according to a perfect timeline. This timeline is something we often create in our heads, and we tell ourselves that unless we do things that very same day, we aren’t worthy of rest. 

As a very type A, organized, Little Miss ‘Plans out everything’ kinda gal, it can be hard for me to change plans because mentally I like to stick to my original plan. But if there’s any important lesson I learned in all of this, there’s nothing more important than prioritizing your rest and recovery and listening to your body. We won’t be able to accomplish anything if we sacrifice how we’re feeling physically when we know it isn’t the right time to push harder. Sometimes telling ourselves to turn it down is 10 times harder than telling ourselves to turn the dial up. 

So how in the hell does this help me become an everything bagel? Well being an everything bagel is just that. I learn to balance not just my activities but also my rest and I recognize that prioritizing my rest and recovery is a huge part of why I can do activities to begin with. I guess to do everything, sometimes we have to do nothing.

So friends– eat the bagel, watch your TV show and remember to be kind to yourself.

xoxoxo,

Trinity ❤

Anyone want a bite of my vegan, gluten free, cruelty free, hypoallergenic, ecofriendly, preservative free, non-GMO, guilt free cupcake??

Posted in peace, youth

Right as Rain

You know that physical feeling you get when you “ace” a test? When you thought you got at LEAST a D+ and by the literal grace of God you somehow managed a B-???? It’s a physical feeling of relief when you suddenly don’t feel like holding your breath or balling your eyes out. WELL thats how I’ve been feeling lately because I did it again….GOT A NEW JOB. But this time is different, you know why? Because I feel like I aced my test. I physically feel like my muscles are relaxed and my lungs can fill with air. 

I have worked many jobs over the last 5 years. Pretty much all healthcare (except for a minor stint at a karaoke bar LOL), wearing many hats and discovering the raw truth behind toxic work dynamics and systemic hierarchical bullsh*t. It has taken many years of fighting the good fight trying to manifest my dEsTiny or whatever working 9-5 for the mAn or some sh*t. AND LET ME TELL YOU THIS: with each additional row of “experience” added to my resume I have learned some things and also learned to recognize that feeling of when something is just…right. 

As a 27 year old woman, wisdom is something I have been learning the hard way through the many ups and downs of young adulthood. There are a handful of takeaways that I can say changed the way I carry myself through the world, many of which have come from my experiences in the workplace. If you’re still reading then I love you and here is my list:

  1. SPEAK UP. Very important rule here. If you let them, they will walk all over you. Them being managers, coworkers AND patrons (i.e customers, patients etc). 
  2. DON’T make yourself smaller to make others feel comfortable. People will want you to tone down who you are in order to cater to their feelings. If you ever feel this energy from the people you work with or are around everyday, that place is not for you. If you can, LEAVE…..
  3. …..so that you DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME. Time is the most precious thing we have in this world and it is priceless and irreplaceable. That job and those people will replace you in a heartbeat, don’t be fooled. 
  4. DON’T BE SO QUICK TO TRUST. Many times it will seem safe. It will seem nice and the water might be warm, but always stay on guard until proven otherwise. People wear disguises all the time and try to be someone they are not. Do not fall for these tricks. Use your better judgment before bringing all your walls down regardless of how much “camaraderie” there may seem to be. 
  5. Lastly, NEVER FORGET YOUR VALUE. You are bringing something important to this job or this environment. You were hired for a reason and you are skilled. Never let a job convince you that you are worth less. Ever. 

As you can tell, my skin has become a little thicker these days from all the bullsh*t, but I am grateful for what I know now. You learn to appreciate the moments that do feel right. For example, personally, I know something feels right for me physically because my body has a reaction. I sometimes want to cry. I know that sounds corny and weird maybe but it means I feel relieved. Or there are times when I can actually see past my stress and anxieties to take in my surroundings for once like the storm has passed and I can see things make sense. I can actually smell the roses and appreciate the sun on my face or the leftover pizza I brought for lunch. Anyways, you get the picture. 

So to this I say cheers friends and good luck. May your gut guide you! I hope wherever you are, it feels just..well.. right!?

“Follow your dreamz? Uh yeah.” – Mac Miller

Posted in peace

Its All About the Motion of the Ocean

Introduction

Life is like the ocean. It ebs and flows. It can be treacherous and unforgiving. You don’t always know what is lurking beneath you —the power of the sea is unmatched. Sometimes you might struggle to stay above water as you fight the current. You can see where you put your towel and snacks down but with each breath it seems to be traveling farther and farther away. 

The ocean can be cold and dark or bright blue and warm like a bathtub. Perhaps it’s a stormy, windy, salty day or maybe there’s not a cloud in sight and you find some really cool shells. The ocean is unpredictable. 

The saltwater can dry you out, make you tired and thirsty. The sand can be hot and grainy or sometimes soft and comforting. It just depends.

Much like life, in the ocean you have no control. That’s the beauty of it. You can immerse yourself and see the how incredible it can be or perhaps how dangerous.

There’s no fighting it either, better to let the waves carry you while you float. Notice the sea foam, the shimmer under the water when the light hits the surface. Or feel the sand between your toes and think about how awesome it is that you get to be there, in the ocean. The bittersweet, giant mystery of the sea.

Beyond the Sea

I spent a lot of time in the sea over the last few weeks. At first, I walked in slowly, unsure about the temperature and feeling of the Baja sand under my feet (it was a little rougher). Then I realized the ocean was warm and the sand got softer. It was also sunset on this first day that I went for a swim. I jumped in and came up with a smile and need for air. It was spectacular. I felt alive and free in the vast ocean. It felt like nothing could get to me yet at any moment I could be an evening snack for a shark or something. It made me feel small, in a good way. Like the Earth was so big with so many possibilities and I was so little-just this little human bouncing around in the water. To the ocean, I am nothing—but to me, the ocean felt like everything. 

The color of the ocean in Mexico is blue to match the sky, it looks crystal clear, like jewels or hard candy. Very very salty. I love salt. I love it on my margaritas and I love the sea salt in my hair. I didn’t mind at all. Initially I tried to fight the current, keep my body directly in front of my little home base on the beach. But it was tough, really tough. I felt absolutely powerless and kind of dumb trying to pretend like I could fight the current. So eventually I let go, and that’s when I felt inspired to write. That’s when I felt like I was learning a valuable lesson in life—from the ocean. She was teaching me not to fight the current and to let go. The places you’ll end up may surprise you, she said.

So finally after floating for awhile, unafraid and quite comfortable actually, I got up and walked on the sand back to base, sat down and watched the grapefruit sun go down into the water.

me encanta el océano 🤍

Posted in lost, peace, storytelling, youth

Pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters.

Embracing change can feel like hugging a cactus. Or perhaps it’s similar to taking cherry flavored cough syrup—it’s awful tasting, but you know you need it and that eventually it’ll make you feel better. 

Embracing change is one of those things that we essentially have no say in. So quite literally we either embrace it or make things entirely more difficult by avoiding it. 

Historically, I have been terrible at embracing change. I am usually afraid of the future and what I can’t control, it’s something I’ve been grappling with my whole life. When change happens I’m not always ready for it and I’m don’t always handle it well. However, when the storm passes and the change is simply ~happening~ to me…. I find that I’m actually, truly okay. Like the fear of it was wayyyy worse than the change itself. 

I feel like I am not alone in this either. I think we can all agree it’s reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllly difficult to understand that change is actually happening for the betterment of our own futures (or something wise like that idk). Change also manifests different for everyone. It hurts different, hits different, heals different for every single human. No two paths are alike.

Sometimes we forget that we ALL go through it, like we fail to realize we’re all navigating this chaos at the same time!!! I have many friends right now, all in their twenties and early thirties still scratching their heads asking “what went wrong here? How long until this is resolved? When will I feel better? Is it my fault?” The answer is WHO FUC*IN KNOWS. A wise man once said, “time will tell us everything we need to know.” That line has never been more true and encompasses every aspect of the struggle—the reality is there is no quick fix and change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a matter of l-e-t-t-i-n-g it happen naturally. You can’t force it, like a fart- if you force it, it’s probably shit (saw this on a magnet somewhere).

So friends, to all this I say— try your hardest to be like the ocean and move with the waves. Let your self be carried by the water into the good vibes ahead. No sense in fighting the current because you’ll just be struggling to keep your head above water. Remember to take those deep breaths, lean on your loved ones, eat that bagel, do that workout and watch that episode. Take care of yourselves and love yourself through it, that’s the only way.

My families dog- Jazzy💖 05/2011-10/3/2023. May she reign in doggy heaven forever ✨🐶🕊🤍 R.I.P

Posted in peace

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice✨

Have you ever caught a glimpse of your own reflection and it made you stop and think for a sec? Maybe you thought, “wow I look great!” or “wow I look like sh*t” or maybe “man wtf am I doing??”… because I have. In fact it happened today as I was walking the dog in the rain.

I caught a glimpse of myself and it made me stop and stare. And I liked what I saw. I saw a girl trying to grow. Trying her best to grow and just let go. Let go of all things past, all things negative, all things that take away from my life. In this fall season that is my theme. I intend to release myself of old expectations and pain that has only held me back for ages. Kind of like a reptile or a invertebrate (ew thats the bio major talking lmao) I want to shed my old skin. To step out of that shell and feel new again.

I love fall because its a refresh, it brings to cooler weather and the rain. The leaves fall and the wind picks up. The colors are gorgeous and the vibes are unmatched. Its almost like new air from somewhere else has made its way here. All the way to me.

It helps with letting go–the fall season I mean. I guess its fair to say that I am changing as the seasons do. I am learning to feel myself again, unlearn bad habits and trust the way forward. Its not easy, definitely spooky, and a little bit rough. YET it doesnt have to be perfect or linear (nothing ever is), the only requirement is forward momentum.

Letting go of anything is a mother*cking art form. Its extremely uncomfortable and feels like when you have to set a bone after it breaks in a really awkward way. I am currently in the process of leaving behind some heavy, heavy emotions. Emotions and feelings that have run my life and have made my life exponentially harder than it needs to be. It has been hard to take chances, trust, explore, and just have a clear mind. I haven’t had a clear mind with no chitter chatter in the background in YEARS. I’ve been telling myself to shutup when what I really want is to tell myself is to “LET IT OUT B*TCH.”

Finding peace is honestly what we all want. Love and money would be nice yes, but just having peace to exist without so much DRAMA or anxiousness, doubt or FEAR!? Yeah that would be f*cking great. So that is my current mission this fall season. Finding peace by letting go of ALL OF IT.

So cheers friends, I encourage you to find your mission this season, keep the promises you make to yourself and never forget if it doesnt work today, there’s always tomorrow.

xoxo,

Trin ☕️🍂

I AM THE APPLE OF MY OWN EYE DAMMIT💋😉🍎

Posted in Uncategorized

“Falling” back into it☕️🍂🍁

It has been a busy few months folks! but I am back, its my favorite season AND I have some very important thoughts to share…

You know that feeling when you see walk into a bustling coffee shop?

It’s kind of like a warm blanket. 

You walk into a light aroma of coffee, chai and chocolate. Listen to the gentle chatter of people at the tables and chairs. 

The barista calls a name out to announce a fresh oat milk vanilla latte for a lucky customer. I love scanning the case of baked goods debating which one would pair best with my cup of house coffee both taste wise and aesthetically.

There are people reading, studying, conversing, eating, drinking.

A coffee shop is an oasis. A getaway to feel secure, warm, and comfortable.

Being in a coffee shop feels safe, like everyone is on the same page—there to drink coffee and just be. It’s like the perfect ambient experience. 

I love the sound of the baristas grinding the coffee beans. Or the quiet background noise of indie folk music that only seems appropriate for this one setting lol. 

Fall in a coffee shop is the best. It’s like you’re in your own Halloween hallmark film. Literally sipping cinnamon foam while you watch the yellow leaves fall off the trees outside. Truly amazing. 

Its the perfect place to be surrounded by everyone yet completely alone, but in a good way. It’s nothing but vibes. 

CoffeeShopVibes. 

xoxoxo

Happy Fall (the best time of year🎃)

Many more inner thoughts to come!

Real time footage of my dog actually *dragging* me to Starbs for her puppy PSL☕️🍂🎃🌼

Posted in lost, peace, planning, youth

“Hate It Or Love It”

This is arguably by far the hardest, most challenging, uprooting, beautiful, heavy and confusing year of my life. I can say with UTTER and complete confidence that I have no f*cking idea what is going on. I am 26. Just 26 years young and 100% agree with the idea that your twenties are a hot train wreck from hell. There are so many silver linings and miracles within our youth. I have been blessed to the nines with some of the people I have met and the places I have been, yet there is this counter balance. This weight that is wrapped around your ankles, pulling you down. I am in this crazy space where I am free yet so stuck. Like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel is so damn long that I just keep running. Sweating, out of breath, thirsty, in pain. 

This year my heart broke. This year my car broke (literally got into my second accident totaling my car once again). This year I went to Europe and fell in love with a new city. This year I got lost and not a single google maps search could save me from not knowing where my future lies. This year I realized my past stole from me— my money, my time and my love. 

I am going to be 27 in November and Im f*cking terrified. Who will I meet? Where will I go? Can I afford to go there? Will my heart become whole again? Will I finally stop crying?? (LOL never). I just have no clue which way is up these days. I don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong. Ive never been so unsure in my entire life. 

But you know what—I’m here. I’m here to find out. Everyday is the exact same but different. Everyday I wake up, anything can happen. I could run into 50 cent at the grocery store. I could win a cereal box sweepstakes. Maybe someone will discover me and I’ll become a famous blogger. Quite literally the world is my OYSTER (and I like oysters). So yes, I have been on the ride of my damn life, doing my best to stay positive and “keep my head up.” UGH can we be more original please!?

SO many questions, unanswered. ZERO sense of direction. No comprehension -anymore- of what I wanna be when I grow up. Sometimes I feel like I’m even going backwards and everyone else is moving forward past me. AND I KNOW  how this sounds. This is literally my thoughts, my brain IS this blog. I write to stay alive. I write to feel strong. To connect, to stay grounded in something when everything else is just non existent or falling apart. And to be clear, this isn’t an invitation for sympathy. This is my platform to be me and all are welcome here. Plus I KNOW you people have shit you’re going through. We ALL do for f*cks sake. 

With that being said though, I’m here. Im a person, a human. I write love letters to you and to myself with this blog. You’re not alone on this sinking ship. Lets keep bailing water out of this b*tch before *insert tasteless joke about millionaires and the deep sea*

xoxo

Trinity