There’s nothing worse than when someone asks you what you wanna do with your life and you say “well I don’t know yet!” (JK there are so many worse things than this encounter but still it can be a very awkward experience). When you’re a few years shy of 30 and the niche of your dreams has yet to find you… it can feel.. well… heavy.
Heavy in the sense that your mind is constantly asking you what everyone else seems to be thinking. “How will she make money? How will she have structure? Will she be able to provide for her future kids?” Of course, the reality is that no person on this planet is more concerned about our own well beings more than *drum roll please* …..ourselves. No one pays attention that much and if they do, they’re weird. Simple.
So yes, when people ask what the hell I’m doing with my life, I’m honest. “I don’t quite know yet!” and I answer truthfully because as soon as they leave my presence or the room we’re in or whatever….I know they’ll go right back to being oh-so concerned about their own bullsh*t. So me and my bullsh*t can go back to what we were doing (which was figuring out what we’re gonna do with OUR life lol).
I have realized that once I am true to myself (i.e being honest with strangers, not lying about my goals and being real with my friends and family) that is when it becomes easier to be honest with myself in general. It is less awkward to have these moments of telling someone what my plans are (the plans are that I have no plans hahahahaha jk jk). If you haven’t caught on yet, I work in healthcare as a medical assistant in a surgical department. THIS is not my life’s dream (see every other blog post Ive ever written) and coming to terms with my relationship with the healthcare industry and my role in it moving forward has been like a complicated “what are we” conversation for the last 2 years.
But lately, Ive been honest. Honest about my writing dreams, my ideas and goals, creative passions…I’ve been real with myself and it’s been an interesting journey but being real has allowed me freedoms in my mind that I have never experienced before. This has given me the strength and bravery to take on new projects and put myself out there in new ways. AND AND AND it has made me more fearless when it comes to answering my favorite f*cking question of all time : sO WhAt ArE yOuR PlAnS fOr ThE fUTuRe??
I had the chance to put this into practice the other day when I had a patient ask me that very question. Most people expect me to say that I’m in nursing school, going to PA school or interested in being a doctor or something. So usually people are a little surprised when I say “actually, I love to write and I am planning on taking time to explore other options. I enjoy helping people so perhaps philanthropy, journalism or even owning my own business someday!” Needless to say, she didn’t have much to say because traditionally, going that route with my type of background and a degree in biology is CRAZY TALK. But you know what? I think committing to a path that you know isn’t for you is even CRAZIER.
Everyone has choices to make. Some because they have to, others because they see no other way. Maybe it’s because of family, or finances or or or or or. The list goes on. But this is the one life we get and it’s up to us and NO ONE ELSE WHATSOEVER to live it to the fullest and push for the life that will bring us the most fulfillment and joy by any means necessary. And yes, that includes scaring older ladies with the shocking choice to write blogs like this one 😘
So friends, my challenge to you is this: ask yourself what you need to be honest about. Be truthful to you FOR you. It may surprise you how much space becomes available to you–the space to explore something new or finally begin working towards that thing you never thought was worth it to begin with. After all, it is true what they say, that nothing worth while comes easy!!! But then again, who doesn’t love a good challenge 😉
xoxoxoxo,
Trin
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